In one of her many letters written to her husband, St. Gianna Molla wrote “You are the man I had wished for, but I often ask myself, ‘Will I be worthy of him?’ Yes, worthy of you, because I want so much to make you happy, but I fear not being able to do so. … When this happens, I ask God, ‘Lord, you see my desire and my good will. Supply what is lacking.’”
When I read this, I could really relate to it. When I first got married my constant fear was not being a good enough wife to my husband. Everything was so new for me and it was a bit overwhelming. Any other wives out there relate?
I had in my mind that any little mistake I made meant I wasn’t a good enough wife and it would break my heart because I wanted to be the best wife I could be to my husband to show him how much I love him. It was a bit stressful.
Now, a year and a half into marriage, I can say that I still strive to be the best wife I can be to my husband but I don’t have that fear anymore of not being good enough. Sure, I still get annoyed at myself if I’m not able to get something done in the house but I am also able to give myself grace. And now, I have found joy in doing the mundane tasks around the home. I receive so much happiness cooking a yummy meal for dinner and greeting my husband with a plate of food when he gets home from work. I honestly love everything that comes with being a wife.
And each day I ask God to help me to be better – to be more patient, understanding, loving, kind, tolerant, merciful and selfless. Because that’s what marriage requires, right? Patience and understanding of one another. Showing kindness and love to your spouse in so many different ways. Being quick to forgive. And being willing to sacrifice for the other.
So wives, you’re doing a great job. Don’t fear unworthiness. God sees and knows you and He can fill you with any grace you may be in need of.
Thoughts Of A Catholic Girl 